What type of 'loved one' are you?
If you had a close friend or loved one who was struggling, what would you tell them? What would you do for them? Imagine you watched them hurt themselves. What would you say?
You would maybe say things like:
- I care about you.
- Please get help.
- Talk to me.
- What can I do to help?
- I am here for you.
- We will get through this together.
- It will be ok.
- Things will get better.
- I support you.
- I love you....
Now, imagine the person you're speaking to is your BODY.
If your mind & your body were friends, what would that relationship look like?
For many of us, we have gone through trauma, heartache, loss, addiction, pain, sickness, death, etc. Our bodies and our minds experience things differently. While your mind may have 'moved on' (or maybe not....), your body could be reliving these experiences or memories over and over again. This can manifest itself through aches, pains, sickness, muscle tension, anxiety, fatigue, addiction and so on.
This process, presented in depth by Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk in the book The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma, changed the way I love and care for myself. I learned to treat each entity- brain, mind & body- with an empathetic lens, through radical acceptance for their current condition coupled with the love I would be willing give to another person. This shift in perspective changed my life.
We offer love, compassion, support and care to others freely, but may not even notice when we need it ourselves. What is your body telling you? What is your mind telling you? What does your brain need? Perfecting this line of communication and awareness between them takes practice. Once accomplished, true self-love can be possible.
If this speaks to you, I encourage you to read Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk's revolutionary work on healing trauma. Join me on a coaching journey to dig in deep and once and for all- FIND YOUR TRUE YOU.
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