Creating a Mantra for Action

 When thinking about making a change, it's important to know what your "why" is. Without the guiding light of purpose, action and commitment may fall short. We can have the best of intentions, but lack motivation.

Regardless of the changes desired, it's vital to dig deep and find a personal message that can carry you through hard days. 

Create a personal mantra that can be repeated in your head or out loud to reinforce your mission. 

Example: If you're seeking to reduce emotional reactivity in interpersonal conflict, you can tell yourself "I am calm and wise," or "I seek to sow love, not hate." Affirmation statements and reminders of your "why" will help create belief that your change is POSSIBLE.

Find a message that works for you and remind yourself frequently. Don't ever underestimate the power of your thoughts! 

Purpose for Pain

 What is the purpose of pain?

Interesting question. Line 10 different people up and ask them this question. Chances are their answers would be very different.

What type of pain are we talking about?

Physical. Emotional. Mental. Spiritual. Vicarious. Depending on the type of pain, the answers could also change drastically- even within an individual's answer

Anything we experience that challenges us presents an opportunity to become "bitter or better."

WHAT WILL YOU CHOOSE? 

Mind ~ Body Connection (Relationship?)

 What type of 'loved one' are you?

If you had a close friend or loved one who was struggling, what would you tell them? What would you do for them? Imagine you watched them hurt themselves. What would you say?

You would maybe say things like:

1. I care about you. 
2. Please get help.
3. Talk to me.
4. What can I do to help?
5. I am here for you.
6. We will get through this together.
7. It will be ok. 
8. Things will get better.
9. I support you.
10. I love you....

Now, imagine the person you're speaking to is your BODY.

If your mind & your body were friends, what would that relationship look like? 

For many of us, we have gone through trauma, heartache, loss, addiction, pain, sickness, death, etc. Our bodies and our minds experience things differently. While your mind may have 'moved on' (or maybe not....), your body could be reliving these experiences or memories over and over again. This can manifest itself through aches, pains, sickness, muscle tension, anxiety, fatigue, addiction and so on. 

This process, presented in depth by Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk in the book The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma, changed the way I love and care for myself. I learned to treat each entity- brain, mind & body- with an empathetic lens, through radical acceptance for their current condition coupled with the love I would be willing give to another person. This shift in perspective changed my life.

We offer love, compassion, support and care to others freely, but may not even notice when we need it ourselves. What is your body telling you? What is your mind telling you? What does your brain need? Perfecting this line of communication and awareness between them takes practice. Once accomplished, true self-love can be possible.

If this speaks to you, I encourage you to read Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk's revolutionary work on healing trauma. Join me on a coaching journey to dig in deep and once and for all- FIND YOUR TRUE YOU.

                                                     

Relationship Status: "With Myself"

Pull out your phone and open up any social media app. After a few scrolls (maybe less), you will see people all around you sharing about their love, idolization, obsession or care for another person in their life. Whether it be a child, spouse, parent or friend- it's always another human being or entity outside of oneself. 

Newlyweds obsessed with their wedding photos. New parents in awe of a brand-new baby. John Doe celebrating honorable moments in Jane Doe's life. 

Relationships with others are fundamental part of being human! During the most delicate stages of life- a baby's first breath, the course of childhood, the journey of an adolescent coming of age- we form bonds with our caregiver(s) that influence all adult relationships we venture to experience.

Our culture generates a strong message to "find the one," or to be married "happily ever after." We are not whole unless we find our better half. 

                But what if the dream of a Hollywood film love story isn't found in a soulmate?

What if the peace of mind & emotional security we are told to seek in others is actually found inside ourselves? Maybe the messages are all wrong. Maybe the true love we seek comes from being in a genuine and committed relationship with our innermost self?

Self-awareness & reflection takes practice. Truly loving our self is a journey that has no destination. I challenge you to think about your self-love journey and ask yourself "what does true self-love look like?"

Is your journey taking you places?